I'm running a game on Sunday. So far, I've changed the game three times. I do this very, very often.
I don't try and beat myself up for it too much. I love RPGs. I want to play all of them, all the time, as much as possible. Some people express their passion for their pursuits by specializing in them, getting highly proficient in a relatively-narrow focus. I tend to do the opposite; I like to generalize. I show my passion by having as broad and generalized knowledge as possible. While many RPG enthusiasts pick one game and have a long-running campaign with it, developing characters and learning the system inside and out, I spread myself out over every system that catches my eye, typically staying with it only long enough to get the broad view of it, then moving on.
I want to change this. I want to change this not because I think there's anything wrong with it, but because I am now finding this tendency of mine counter-productive to my long-term goal as a GM.
What is my long-term goal? I want to run a game that reaches off the table and moves all of us, in a very real way.
I think of some movies that really moved me; books that engaged my mind; music that touched my soul. I think that's possible with role-playing games, and I want to do it. I want to run a game that's more than a fun way to spend a Sunday afternoon. I want to say something about the human condition with my game, and I want that game to be remembered long after the table is clear.
I can't do that whilst jumping from game to game. I want to focus on one game, to get into the spirit and tone of that game, and then deliver a story that can touch minds, and move hearts.
Some may say it's impossible. These nay-sayers, the ones who believe that art can't be interacted with in a meaningful way...well, I just think they're wrong. And I hope to prove it.
Now I just got to find the game. More on that later.