Ugh

This Sunday, I will be either running a one-shot of an RPG, or playing boardgames. I don't know which. Frankly, I'm not sure if I want to do either. My heart's not too into it, but I want to keep playing. I want to socialize and see my friends again.

It's only Wednesday, and the week's been a rough one for me. My motivation is down, and I can feel the urge to withdraw from everything, as is my usual pattern. All I really feel like doing is disappearing. I don't want to do that, though. Not this week. I know I'll feel better if I can make myself do things that make me happy, even if I don't feel like doing them.

Even my motivation to write in this blog has been down this week. Granted, part of it has been the extra work I've been doing with reviews on Geek Native, but I'm just feeling really vacant, life-wise.

Anyways, after a disappointing board gaming session last week, the urge is strong in me to run something complicated, something that'll make me think. However, I do love me some role-playing gaming, so maybe I'll pull out something heavy, like Shadowrun or 13th Age. 13th Age isn't all that heavy, really, but it's heavier than I'm used to, so that counts for something. Plus, in light of my recent column on 13th Age's viability with the release of D&D 5E, I'm curious how the game feels now.

On the boardgaming front, I've been wanting to dust off my copy of Terra Mystica for awhile now. When I picked up Archipelago last week, I was ready to say that it was going to usurp Terra Mystica as the best eurogame I've ever played. But after the bitter taste my first play of it left in my mouth, I feel like falling back to Terra Mystica and seeing if that game is in fact still king.

The hardest part about all of this, as it always is with me, is making up my mind. Indecision is an awful side effect of apathy, which is in itself a side effect of depression. Nobody can tell me what will make me happy; I've gotta figure it out myself.