Friday, January 19, 2018

Origin Story

Several months ago, I fell in love with a woman. We pledged our hearts to each other. But she lives across the country, and has her own life. She must slowly, thoughtfully, and carefully prepare her life for my arrival. And when the time is right, she will call, and I will come, and we will be together, and life will be great. 

In the meantime, I wait. A few months ago, when I realized I must be patient and wait for my love, I knew I needed something to keep me distracted...something that will consume all my attention and focus and keep me from pining and aching and worrying about her. I needed something to obsess over.

That is the point of Overwatch. It's not about OWL. It's not about the Path to Git Gud. It's just a distraction until I can begin my real life, with my lady love.

Overwatch has done such a great job of filling that role that I occasionally forget that that is what it's job is. I get so caught up in wanting to be a great Overwatch player, in wanting to be a part of that community, that I forget that as soon as she calls, my life will change, and none of this is going to mean even half as much as it currently does.

Last night was a wake-up call. As I watched the same teams use the same compositions to beat the same opponents in the same matches, I despaired for the "top tier meta," how stifling it is to creativity, and how despite Overwatch's claims, the top level of competitive play doesn't look all that much different than any of the various Call of Duty or Halo or League of Legends Leagues or any of those inferior games. As I watched the mini-documentaries of OWL players and their lives in the league, I looked at the apartments they lived in and the hours of practice and I was instantly transported back to the Army, and I thought "Shit, that looks like a fucking job." I'm sure those kids are having the times of their lives there, but to me, it looks like summer camp with extra bullshit. In other words, I'm too old for that shit. 

The mechanical end of Overwatch was never a thing that bothered me. I've always believed that if I keep trying, work hard, and apply myself, I would have the skills to go wherever I wanted to in Overwatch. I still believe that. However, last night I saw what was at the end of the rainbow...and I was left feeling disappointed. I reserved judgement on OWL last week, but now as I watch Week 2, I realize that this league, in its current form, is not something I want to be a part of.

I'm not quitting Overwatch, not at all. In fact, I'm not even done with OWL. I will continue to watch it as a fan, and I might still be interested in being in it...just not as an active player on the roster. Maybe as a commentator. Or a blogger.

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